3 min read · MOMUS

The Multitasking Massacre: How to get 10 things done to 0% simultaneously.

Concentration is for specialists – we opt for total distraction. Why it feels so productive to rush back and forth between emails, cat videos, and cooking pasta, while in the end, only the kitchen is on fire and your head is smoking.

Satire notice:

MOMUS articles are satire and deliberately recommend the opposite of healthy behavior. They are a mindset mirror, not health advice.

Have you tried doing just one thing today? Perhaps just reading a book without checking your phone every three pages? A terrifying thought, isn't it? This almost monastic silence that arises when you dedicate yourself to only one task is hardly bearable for the modern "inner weaker self." We live in the age of multitasking – the art of chopping one's own attention so finely that it falls through every sieve.

We love the feeling of being a "doer." We sit in a Zoom call, simultaneously typing a WhatsApp message, scrolling through a newsfeed with the other hand, and stirring a coffee that has actually been cold for an hour. It feels like high performance. It feels like an orchestra where we are the conductor. In truth, it’s more like an orchestra where every musician is playing a different piece and the conductor is currently trying to tie his shoes at the same time.

The psychology behind it is brilliant: multitasking is the perfect excuse to never have to dive really deep into a topic. Depth requires effort. It requires confronting problems that cannot be solved in 280 characters. In multitasking, however, we stay on the glittering surface. We jump from stimulus to stimulus like a hyperactive squirrel on espresso.

The best part is the "completion rush." Every app switched, every partial sentence read gives us the feeling of being insanely busy. We skillfully ignore the fact that at the end of the day, we are exhausted but have absolutely nothing substantial to show for it. We have sacrificed quality for quantity and celebrate the chaos as a "modern lifestyle." Why reach one goal when you can start a thousand other things along the way?

The positive motivation with a medical/technical explanation: Does your head feel like a browser with 47 open tabs right now, one of which is playing music but you don't know which one? Welcome to Context Switching.

Medically speaking, the human brain is not capable of multitasking at all. What we do is actually Serial Tasking – we switch back and forth between tasks extremely quickly. Every time you change focus, your brain pays a "Switching Cost." The brain must eject the old task from its working memory and load the new one. This costs an enormous amount of glucose and oxygen.

Studies show that multitasking can temporarily lower IQ by up to 10 points – that's more than after consuming marijuana. Additionally, the brain releases cortisol (stress hormone) with every stimulus change, which burns you out in the long run. Your prefrontal cortex, responsible for logical planning, is literally "hijacked" by the constant dopamine fireworks of new stimuli. You lose the ability to distinguish between what is important and what is unimportant.

The good news: you can reclaim your brain! The solution is called Deep Work or "Singletasking." When you dedicate yourself to only one thing, you enter the so-called Flow state. Your brain then works highly efficiently, stress levels drop, and the quality of your work (and your life) increases massively. Start small: 20 minutes of focus, phone in airplane mode. Your brain will breathe a sigh of relief, as if you had just disposed of a giant pile of trash outside your door.

Note:

This satirical article does not replace medical advice. For real guidance, see the English guide overview or the German knowledge pages.